FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
