I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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