he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
