the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize