nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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