It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
