FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
