Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
