i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize