I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
