Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
