k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
