I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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