so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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