Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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