Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
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Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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