Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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