im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
