have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
