problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
