I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
