wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
