So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
kristin has been a bad kristin
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
