he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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