Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
