she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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