so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
