Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
