True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
