how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
