I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
