I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Can I color on your dick again?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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