well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
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On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
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He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Holy shit dude........stairs
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