oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
