wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
how do flat chested girls get laid?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
