My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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