??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize