drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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