dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
