I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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