I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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