I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
