She said her name was "party"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
