I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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