I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
