the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
