Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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