Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
