We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
