it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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