i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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