doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize