Your mouth is God's brothel.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
