Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Randomize
