Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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