Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
