Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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