i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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