In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize